I Was the Perfect Daughter—Until I Wasn't. Here's What Happened Next.
Now I help women break free from people-pleasing patterns and build lives they don't need their mother's permission to live.
Kiara Ivory, LMFT
The Before: The Weight of Being 'Good'
I was the oldest daughter. The only daughter. And with that came an unspoken script I didn't realize I was following until decades later.
I got the good grades. Followed the path. Did the schooling. Made the right friends. On paper, I was doing everything right. But underneath it all, I was performing—playing a version of myself that fit neatly into the lines my parents had drawn for me.
I sacrificed my authenticity to maintain perfectionism. I shrunk my voice. I avoided conflict at all costs. Anytime I tried to share my opinion or disagree, I was met with silence or lectures filled with scripture. So I learned to stop trying.
It was isolating. My friends couldn't understand what I was going through. I couldn't talk to my parents without facing judgment or being shut down. So I stayed small, stayed quiet, and stayed stuck—convinced this was just what being a good daughter looked like.
The Breaking Point: When Someone Finally Saw Me
The shift didn't happen overnight. It was gradual, unfolding over the last five years as I dated the man who would become my husband.
He was on the outside looking in, seeing things about my family dynamic—and about me—that had never been called out before. In a family that avoids conflict, those truths just get swept under the rug. But he didn't let them stay there.
When I turned 30, I looked back at my life and realized something that shook me: I had been living for my parents' expectations, not for myself.
Choosing myself meant choosing the person who poured into me, who challenged me, who made me happy. It meant marrying my husband despite the discomfort it caused. It meant leaving jobs that no longer served me. It meant going full-time in my business without a perfect backup plan.
And it meant speaking up and setting boundaries—cutting that invisible cord so I could finally create a life of my own and step into who I needed to be as a full-grown woman.
The After: What Became Possible
My life today is better than I ever imagined.
By stepping into my authenticity, I've created deeper friendships and new connections. My old friendships are even stronger because I'm finally allowing myself to be who I've always been—I just needed to dig her out from under the surface.
Authenticity for me looks like knowing when to rest without guilt. Saying no without overextending myself. Not being afraid to disappoint people.
And here's what surprised me most: when I stopped seeking approval, I was respected more. I felt confident in my skin for the first time in my life.
Even my relationship with my mother shifted—to even better heights. We connect more now. I've learned to understand our relationship for what it is, rather than idealizing what I wanted it to be. I had to grieve that idealistic version, accept where she is in her life, and let go of what may not be possible.
And that acceptance? It gave us something real. Not tumultuous. Not perfect. But good. Genuinely good.
✓ Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
✓ Certified Coach
✓ 10 years of clinical experience
✓ Helped over 150 women reclaim their voices
✓ Creator of the RISE Framework™
✓ Upcoming Author
My personal transformation was just the beginning. I knew I couldn't keep this journey to myself—so I became equipped to guide other women through theirs. Today, I combine lived experience with professional expertise to help women break free from people-pleasing patterns and step into their authentic power.
Why Maternal Relationships?
The mother-daughter relationship is the blueprint. It's the first bond we experience coming into this world, and it shapes how we connect with everyone else for the rest of our lives.
When that maternal bond is severed, conjoined, or simply not as healthy as it should be, the effects ripple out into everything. It leads to self-abandonment. Harsh self-criticism. Low self-esteem and self-worth that whispers, "You're not enough."
And from there? Women get stuck in relationships that don't serve them. They accept jobs that keep them small. They pour into friendships that only take. They become the family mediator—the glue holding everyone else together—because voicing their own opinion feels too dangerous.
Instead of using their voice, they become the mouthpiece for everyone else.
I work with maternal relationships and people-pleasing because I know this pattern doesn't just affect one area of life—it affects all of it.
What I Know Is Possible
I believe the women I work with have the potential to step into their full authenticity. And I don't mean that as some vague, feel-good concept.
I mean the real stuff:
Saying no without guilt. Resting without shame. Not carrying everyone else's emotions on your shoulders because you finally understand—you're only responsible for your own.
I mean building a life where disappointing people doesn't send you into a spiral, because you know your worth isn't tied to their approval.
Why I Show Up Every Single Day
I show up for this work because I've seen the transformations.
I've watched confidence build in the eyes of the women I work with. I've seen the way they start to speak differently—about themselves, about their lives, about what they deserve. The language shifts. The posture shifts. The energy shifts.
They learn: I don't have to be responsible for everybody else. It's not my job to manage them. My job is to take care of me—to make sure I'm good. Because when I'm good, the people in my life benefit too.
They stop pouring from an empty cup and wondering why they're filled with resentment, stress, and anxiety. They realize that putting themselves first isn't selfish—it's absolutely necessary to thrive.
And when I see that click? When I watch a woman choose herself for the first time in years, maybe decades?
That's why I do this work.
You Don't Have to Do This Alone
After my own transformation, I knew I couldn't keep this journey to myself. The women who were reaching out to me weren't just looking for a therapist—they were looking for a community. A place where they could be honest about the guilt, the people-pleasing, the fear of disappointing their mothers without being met with judgment or silence.
That's why I created Nice Girl in Recovery—a membership for women who are ready to stop performing and start living authentically.
Inside, you'll find a community of women just like you who are breaking the cycle. Women who are learning to set boundaries without guilt, say no without shame, and build lives they don't need anyone's permission to live.
This isn't about perfection. It's about progress. It's about showing up for yourself the way you've been showing up for everyone else.
And you don't have to figure it out alone.